


The Cats Meow

by Scrufflecake



Series: Weed Bakery AU [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Mostly Fluff, Recreational Drug Use, if you squint there is angst, implied kink exploration, implied pet play, stray demon cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 21:43:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6167734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrufflecake/pseuds/Scrufflecake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stormy night and a stray cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cats Meow

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to AllegedlyMags, who encouraged me to write a second part to the Weed Bakery. Then was up until two in the morning editing it because I still don't know what the fuck tense is.
> 
> A shout out to HelenahJay, who still edited a ton of shit but literally wrote "Wow, you know what tense is now", only to be told that Mag's had already edited a lot.
> 
> Thank you so much to awriterwrites, who looked over the story and made edits as well! 
> 
> Gosh, you would think anything this short wouldn't need a boat-load of editing but.. you're wrong!

“You're only going for five nights, babe. Why do you need all of this?” Harry inquired, dropping the last of Louis’ luggage into the trunk with a thud.

“Careful!” Louis squeaked, wincing at the loud sound from the back of the car. “For your information, those bags are mostly full of gifts. Haven't been able to make it home in a while and I figured buying forgiveness is the best route to take.”

“That's a dirty trick,” Harry laughed.

Louis made his way around to the back of the officially paid-off 2012 Kia and pushed the trunk closed. Harry toyed with the bottom of his shirt nervously.

“Aw, baby, it's just five days and then I'll be back. You won't even notice I'm gone.” Louis’ tone was soft.

“I know but-” Harry shrugged sadly, leaning his whole body into his husband, making himself small so Louis could hook his chin over his shoulder.

"Five days, baby,” Louis whispered against the skin of Harry's neck before placing a comforting kiss and making a promise of a quick return.

“Okay, five da-” Harry started to say before being interrupted by a loud yowling, followed by panicked squawking and an ear-splitting shatter.

Louis jumped into action, darting to the back of the house to where chaos had erupted, Harry close behind. The white stone bird bath lay on the ground, feathers flying all around and a very proud overweight fluffy orange-and-white tabby sitting amidst the chaos.

“Fucking hell, again!?” Louis yelled in the direction of the smug cat.

Harry padded over to the bird bath, finding the base broken and the bowl shattered into pieces.

“Orange-Dream,  _ why _ ?” Harry pleaded helplessly with the tabby.

“Don't name that nightmare, he's a stray heathen,” Louis warned while nudging the cat with his foot in hopes of shooing the hellion away. The action had the reverse effect, however. The pudgy orange fluffball rubbed against Louis’ leg, purring with satisfaction.

“Go away!” Louis barked at the cat and shook his leg in frustration, his actions finally causing the cat to scamper off.

“He’s not a heathen, he’s just misguided.” Harry knelt on the ground, carefully handling the stone shards, piling the debris together to clean up later.

“No, he's a smug asshole who leaves dead birds on our doorstep, has broken two bird baths, tries to commit breaking and entering on a regular basis, and don’t even get me started on what happened with the garden.” Louis bent over and placed a kiss to the top of Harry's head, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “I gotta get on the road. Five days babe, alright?”

“Alright, alright...Five days, love you!” Harry called from the ground towards Louis’ retreating figure.

“Love you, too. Call you later!” Louis blew a kiss over his shoulder, rounding the corner of the house towards the driveway.

Harry caught the kiss and placed it in his pocket, saving it for later when he really missed Louis. Harry remained on the ground making sure anything sharp was tucked into the larger pile. A minute or two later, a soft shuffling sound in the nearby bushes caught his attention, and he locked eyes with the orange tabby. Brushing his hands together, Harry huffed in defeat.  _ Orange-Dream never went too far after an incident. _

_ Day one _ of Louis being gone wasn't bad. Harry worked a double at the bakery and filled his time catching up on orders and gossiping with Niall about a new shipment that was due to arrive the next afternoon.

Louis had placed the order before he left. It was a new strain that boasted one of the highest legal THC levels on the market. He had been hesitant to order it because portion controls on the substance were very specific. Niall and Harry had assured Louis that they could adhere to the very specific handling laws and regulations over the course of several days and had finally won him over when they promised they could turn a huge profit with a new cake recipe they had been working on. Once the order had been placed, everyone was excited to work with the new product.

Harry closed up the bakery by himself later that evening, sending Liam and Niall home early in celebration of the shipment tomorrow. On his way out the door, Harry took a snap of himself smiling and pointing at the complete order board on the kitchen wall, hoping the photo would relieve any stress Louis had about leaving for an extended period of time.

Harry didn’t get a reply to his snap until he was already at home and eating a microwave dinner over the sink like a bachelor. Louis’ smiling face, surrounded by five little girls and a little boy all giving a thumbs up filled Harry’s screen. Harry went to bed that night with a smile on his face.

_ Day two _ of Louis being gone didn't get off to the greatest start. While Harry shoved toast down his throat in a rush to get the bakery, he watched in horror from the kitchen window as Orange Dream pounced on an unsuspecting rodent and shook the life from the other animal’s body. He threw his second piece of toast into the trash, unable to stomach anything after witnessing a cold-blooded murder.

In hopes of lifting his spirits, Harry typed out several messages to Louis about how much he missed him and hoped he was having a good time with his family. He knew he shouldn’t expect a reply anytime soon because one of the things Louis had been looking forward to was not keeping bakery hours during his time off. Harry took advantage of this and sent strings of texts about how beautiful Louis was to him, something Louis would tell him to stop if he were awake.

Niall was already prepping for the day by the time Harry arrived, mixers going and oven already hot.

“Who is excited?!” Niall sung out as Harry entered the bakery, discarding his cardigan and messenger bag on the ground by the door.

“Me! Me!  _ Meee! _ ” Harry bounced on the balls of his feet, raising one hand in the air for comical effect.

“I can’t believe Louis won’t be here for this shipment. He has never missed shipment day,” Niall mentioned, stirring the contents of a large sauce pan on one of the oven ranges. The smell of cooking oil and weed wafted through the kitchen.

Harry hummed in agreement.

He knew all too well that Louis never missed a shipment. They had planned their honeymoon around shipment days. It was a huge deal that Louis was entrusting Harry with the responsibility of today’s delivery. There was a lot of paperwork involved and very precise weighing, and then recorded statements had to be submitted to the state as soon as the exchange had been made. Louis had practiced with Harry how to properly accept the supply several times, and each time Harry took extra care to do everything just as he was told. He would  _ not _ mess this up.

Harry hadn't messed up, per se, but he also hadn't expected the new shipment to arrive with a couple grams in a trial baggie from the retailer. The Baggie Of Doom, as it had been dubbed, was the source of Niall, Liam, and Harry’s current frustration. No one knew what to do with it, but they all knew they wanted to smoke it.

Louis had a strict “no smoking the supply” rule. He had gone as far as posting little reminder signs over the airlocked supply jars that lined the kitchen’s ingredient shelves. None of the three men had never been faced with a trial bag before. Louis had never even mentioned that such a thing existed. With the delivery paperwork done and all the numbers recorded and posted to the state's exchange log, Harry, Niall, and Liam huddled around Louis’ desk and stared down at the offending bag.

“We should smoke it.” Niall was the first to break the silence with his vote.

“My heart says smoke it but my mind says dump it into the shipment supply so Louis doesn't murder us.” Liam threw his opinion in as well, picking up the small clear bag and inspecting the contents.

Harry reached out and swiped the Baggie of Doom from Liam's grasp, cradling it to his chest protectively.

“Look, I’m going to call Louis and ask what we should do. Whatever he says, we do. Are we all agreed?” Harry asked, looking from Niall to Liam for agreement. He picked up his phone from the desk and tucked the baggie into his pocket where it rested alongside the kiss Louis had blown him before leaving.

Harry opened the back door of the bakery, giving Liam and Niall one last hopeful nod before unlocking his phone and hitting the last message from Louis to tap call. He felt a nervous excitement boiling in his stomach, really hoping Louis would say it was okay to just smoke the contents of the bag. He laughed nervously and tapped his foot against the brick wall of the bakery, willing Louis to answer. Just as he started to give up hope, Louis’ voice filled his ears.

“Babe! Hey! Sorry!” Louis panted, obviously short of breath. A loud childish laugh in the background gave away that he was in the midst of playtime with one of his younger siblings.

“Heyyyyy,” Harry drawled, a smile plastered to his face at the images of Louis playing with and holding children. God, he wanted a baby with this man.

“How'd the delivery go? No problems?” Louis’ voice was laced with concern, and even though Harry couldn't see him, he knew exactly what face Louis was making. His features would go soft and his brows would draw together. Harry missed his face.s do

“Oh no, no real problems. Everything's all squared away.” Harry couldn't help but laugh a bit nervously, now leaning against the backdoor of the bakery.

“I, uh, have a question though, Lou?” He tried to hide the anxiousness in his voice, but Louis immediately recognized it through the upbeat tone Harry used.

“Hmmm. Okay?”

“So, the uh, the delivery today came with a baggie and it was like...hmmm...like extra? The note attached to it said it was a trial-” Louis’ laugh interrupted Harry’s stilted explanation.

“Yeah, yeah, when you buy from a new source they do that. You can dump it in with the supply or whatever.” Harry let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Harry’s nerves settled a bit, the nervousness turning to excitement. His free hand patted the pocket that bulged from the baggie.

“Oh shit! Yes! So, like, Liam, Niall, and I can smoke it?” Harry rushed out, and Louis’ airy laugh filled his ear again.

“Yeah, babe, it's a sample, do whatever with it. Man, is that why you sounded so nervous? Shit, you had me worried.”

Harry talked to Louis for several more minutes, explaining how he, Liam, and Niall had named the baggie and how all day they’d talked about it and hoped Louis would say they could keep it. Louis shared how his family was doing, that he'd been sleeping until noon and was going out with some local friends that evening. They said goodbye with excessive I love you’s and I miss you’s.

Harry burst through the back door, kicking it all the way open, the small clear cellophane prize held victoriously above his head. His grand entrance shocked Niall into letting out a loud screech.

“We got the green light! It's ours!”

Harry was sure he had never seen Niall and Liam clean as quickly and quietly as they did that night. On the drive back to his and Louis’ house, the Baggie burned a hole in his pocket, excitement strumming through his body. Harry and Louis didn’t indulge in getting high like they’d used to back before they were married, before they had the responsibilities of not only the bakery, but the very real stressors of home ownership.

Harry missed Louis and knew Louis missed him, but he could also admit that having some time apart was nice, too. Harry had never been able to bond with Liam and Niall outside of work or outside of his relationship with Louis. Sure, they got along and they had a ton of inside jokes, but their relationship was built around Louis. Knowing that he was going to be spending time with two of the most important people in Louis’ life was a little nerve-wracking. Harry was just as desperate to impress them and show them that he was a good time without Louis as he was before they got married.

Getting out of the car, messenger bag slung over his shoulder, Harry tapped out a message to Louis asking to be wished luck with the impending boys night followed by a string of confetti emojis. Harry’s foot hit something hard, causing him to stumble forward a bit, and the hard object let out a hiss.

“Mother fuck-” Harry started, his bag pulled in front of him like a shield before realizing his attacker was merely at ankle level.

“Orange Dream, what are you  _ doing _ ?” Harry stooped to the cat’s level, holding his hand out for inspection. “You almost killed me.”

The fluffy stray’s ears perked up, coming close to sniff at Harry’s extended hand and nuzzling his head against Harry’s fingertips. Taking that as a sign, Harry softly stroked the fur between the cat’s ears.

“So soft, such a pretty kitty,” Harry started to coo just as the orange beast lifted a paw to strike Harry’s hand, claws out. Before the cat could make contact, however, Harry quickly withdrew his hand, disgruntledly righting himself.

“Not nice,” Harry tutted, eyeing the feline over his shoulder one last time before making his way to the porch. He and Louis exchanged a few more texts, most of which consisted of Louis trying to calm Harry’s fear about the impending “boys’ night.”

When Niall and Liam finally pulled into the driveway, Harry ended their text conversation with a smiley kissy face and a heart for good measure.

“Don’t go near the cat!” Harry called out, pointing to the orange tabby in the middle of the walkway. “He’s in a mood.”

“Didn’t know you had a cat?” Liam walked on the grass to avoid the creature completely, taking the porch steps two at a time.

“We don’t,” Harry started to open the door, eyeing Niall who was casually walking toward Orange Dream. “Don’t do it, Niall,” Harry warned again.

“He’s so fluffy though,” Niall sounded hypnotized. “And orange… fluffy and orange…”

Harry couldn’t utter another warning before Niall had leaned down and started stroking Orange Dream. To Harry’s surprise, the cat butted his head against Niall's hand and flopped to its side. Niall cackled in delight.

“Niall Horan, folks, the tamer of beasts!” Niall stroked Orange Dream’s scruffy white tummy fur, the cat purring contentedly under his ministrations.

Harry’s jaw dropped, his lips forming a perfect O. “I swear to god that cat is the biggest asshole, Louis was right!”

“Alright, beast-master, let's get inside before you get fleas or some plague that stray cats carry.”  Liam brushed past a shocked Harry, laughing.

Niall bounded up the steps, leaving a content Orange Dream in his wake.

Things were going well. Harry had broken out one of Louis’ vaporizers from storage. After hearing countless stories about how Liam couldn’t smoke joints, it seemed like the best option. Harry let Niall pack the bowl since Louis had warned in several texts that the THC levels were the highest they had ever produced. Louis even texted Niall to remind him that Harry had a tendency to overpack bowls and if they all didn’t want a weed hangover that Niall should be in charge of portion control.

A few pulls in had them all feeling just right. Niall suggested video games, but that quickly failed due to lack of coordination. Harry tried to bake some pizza rolls but burnt them when he became distracted by Liam telling a story about twinky-college Louis sending nudes to his mother by accident.

The three men stood around the kitchen sharing stories of college and previous work experiences, mostly retail horror stories. Each story was more outrageous than the last.

Liam tapped his finger against the window over the sink, the flood lights illuminating the back porch and patches of the yard.

“Hey, Harry? Why is Louis’ garden all dug up?” Liam asked, turning to Harry, who was currently petting Niall's head after asking what he did to keep his over-processed bleached blonde hair healthy.

“Oh...ya know that cat outside?” Harry stopped the petting, causing Niall to huff and rub the top of his head against Harry’s hand.

Liam nodded, looking back at the patch of torn up ground and trying to piece together what the cat had to do with the mess.

“Well, Louis ordered all these really expensive bulbs and bought all those books about gardening and he had planted them and was out there like talking to them and shit like he read you should do. And one morning he was out there and literally all I heard was screaming...not even like ‘Oh, I’m hurt’ screaming but like Bates-Motel, horror movie, screaming,” Harry dug his fingers back into Niall’s scalp, thinking he probably got along with the cat because he was a cat himself.

“So, I run out there totally naked covered in soap from the shower and Louis is losing his shit. He’s, um, like, picking up those _little_ shovel things and throwing them. He was going _bat_ _shit_. And, um, he starts screaming about a cat pissing all over his work…”

Liam leaned over the kitchen sink, face pressed against the glass, evaluating the disaster on the ground.

“So, wait, a cat did  _ that _ ?”

Niall walked over to take a look out the window, joining Liam in staring at the abandoned garden.

“Well, I mean, Louis dug some of it up to save the bulbs, and he ended up giving those away, but...um...Orange Dream turned it into his personal outdoor kitty litter box. And since the soil is all fucked up because of all the cat piss…” Harry’s story petered out, and he gave a small shrug.

“Holy shit, man. Why does the cat keep coming back?” Niall looked to Harry and then to the ripped up soil.

“In all honesty, I think the cat does it to fuck with Louis...like Louis chases him and shit...it’s probably some fucked up thing where like the cat’s a stray so any attention, even negative, is attention?” Harry asked, knowing his reasoning sounded nuts. He could blame it on being high.

Surprisingly, both Liam and Niall just nodded, accepting that the cat had some deep rooted abandonment issues.

“I think we’re really high,” Liam snarked with one last glance at the failed garden.

Liam fell asleep first on the couch, followed shortly by a drowsy Niall, leaving Harry to pack up the vaporizer and scrub the pizza roll pan. Sending one more good night text to Louis, Harry made his way to the couch to snuggle between his two friends. He was pretty positive he had won them over completely.

 _Day_ _three_ of Louis being gone was the hardest. It started out good. All three men woke up at four to get off to the bakery, Niall and Liam donning some clothing from Louis and Harry’s closet.  Harry sent Louis some texts in between bakery chores. The bakery itself was dead. There was a severe weather warning for the county and rain pelted the ground.

Louis called the bakery around noon, telling them all to head home early and to drive safe. Harry closed up, sending Niall and Liam off with a similar warning. The shops surrounding the bakery were already dark. The weather was often good in Colorado, but when a storm hit they were sometimes massive. If the cracks of lightning and booming thunder were any indicator, Harry was in for a long night of no power. It was one of the many times he was grateful that Louis had pressured him to purchase an actual car and to lay his everyday bike commuting to rest.

Harry made his way home cautiously with the radio turned off to avoid any distractions. The windshield wipers tried in vain to give him a clear view of the road. He hated driving to begin with, and the added stress of poor weather made his stomach turn over.

When the never-ending drive home was finished, Harry sat in his car for a moment. His ringing cell phone was almost completely drowned out by the storm brewing outside. He shuffled around in his coat pocket, fingers searching blindly for his phone. Grunting in frustration, he shifted his position to dig deeper into his pocket. When he finally had his phone within his grasp, it went silent.

The screen of the phone lit up the confined space of the car. One missed call from “Boo-Bear.” Just as Harry was hitting the call button, his phone started ringing again.  

“Hiiiiii,” Harry greeted, smiling so wide his dimples popped.

“Jesus Christ, I timed your ride home according to your slow driving and the weather,” Louis started right in, ignoring the greeting completely. “When you didn't answer I started freaking out.”

Harry couldn't help the small  _ awww _ sound that escaped his mouth. Louis had been worried.

“Sorry, babe, couldn't find my phone.”

“You're home safe, then?” Louis breathed out a sigh of relief. He was well aware that Harry could be described as a poor driver on the best of days.

“Mmhm, still sitting in the car, devising my route to the door now.”

“Okay. Call me when you get settled then. I miss you.” Louis tone made Harry take notice. He sounded sad. He'd have to ask Louis about it later but right now he had to make a run for the door. Another crack of lightning filled the dark grey sky, the rain unrelenting.

“Miss you too, Boo, call you shortly, love you.”

“Love you, too,” Louis muttered before the call ended screen flashed on Harry's phone.

Harry looked at his phone and shook his head. He'd really need to ask about that sad tone. He decided the best method to get to the door was just to go for it, so he swung his car door open, used his messenger bag to cover his head, kicked the door closed with his foot, and made a run for it.

The wind was blowing the rain horizontally, so even under the cover of the porch Harry was being pelted. He fumbled with his keys, his slick hands making it nearly impossible to grasp the metal.

“Fuck...fuck...fuck.” Harry shivered. It hadn’t been long, but the air was chilly and the rain so unrelenting that he was soaked all the way through his clothing.

He finally got the door unlocked and let himself fall through the entrance. The door slammed shut so hard that a nearby picture bounced from the impact.

It took Harry longer than he expected to get settled. He had to take a warm bath to get the chill to leave his bones, set out candles in case the power went out, and ate quickly over the sink yet again. It came as a surprise that by the time he looked at his phone again, two hours had passed. Hoping Louis wasn’t preoccupied with one of his siblings, or worse yet, grumpy that he hadn’t called right away like he had said he would, Harry made the call.

He sat on the couch in their living room in a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved thermal shirt, hoping to fend off some of the cold. Resting his head against the plush cushion, he listened to the robotic ringing of the call.

With no greeting or warning Louis answered, not giving Harry a chance to even say hello before blurting out, “Let's Skype, get your computer.” Before Harry could even reply, the line went dead.

Harry squealed with excitement, fishing his laptop out from underneath the couch. He watched the tree sway in the front yard through the living room bay window while waiting for the laptop to wake up. Eyes still intent on watching the storm outside, he clicked the “accept call” button on his Skype window.

“Well, well, well, you look comfy cozy.” Louis’ voice brought Harry’s focus back to his screen.

Filling the screen was an image of Louis with his hair wet from a shower and no shirt on. Harry’s eyes focused on the hollows of Louis’ collarbones, and his mouth felt dry. It had been three days since Louis left and Harry hadn’t even had the time to indulge in a lonely wank. The image of Louis bare chested was enough for his cock to take notice, chubbing up in his sweats.

“Yeah, ya know…just getting hunkered down.” Harry stumbled on his words, lost in thoughts of how Louis’ nipples looked extra pink on the computer screen. He wanted to wrap his mouth around the little nub, make it hard and puffy by sucking and biting. God, was he always this horny?

“I can hear the wind through the computer. Is it that bad?” Louis asked while reaching for something off screen. His hand came back into view with what looked like a tube of lotion. Something probably one his sisters kept on hand. Louis was casual while filling his palm with cream, rubbing it between his hands to warm it before starting to rub it into his arms.

Harry licked his lips. Louis probably wasn’t trying to be a tease…but as he started rubbing the lotion delicately into the skin of his chest, all feigned innocence was thrown out the window.

Harry sucked his tongue between his teeth with a  _ tsk _ .

“Did you want to Skype so you could tease me?” Harry sat in rapt attention now, Louis’ hands caressing down his chest to his bare stomach. Just where the camera’s view ended Harry could see the start of Louis’ small little tummy, his favorite physical part of Louis besides his cock.

“I have no idea what you’re on about, babe. Just missed my boy was all.” Louis chuckled but his hand wandered lower, making a show of rubbing the lotion into his skin. “They don’t recommend you use scented lotion to jerk off, anyway.”

Louis brought both hands back into view, leaning forward to bring his face closer to the camera. Harry whined. His cock was definitely interested now, fully hard and jutting from his body uncomfortably under the laptop.

“Looouuu…let me watch you jerk off,” Harry whined. Whining usually got him his way and he wasn’t above begging. Louis actually liked when he begged, so if he had to resort to whining and begging he’d do it. He was desperate to see his husband coming all over himself.

“How about a trade?” Louis proposed, leaning back from the screen and letting the camera focus on his chest to his lower belly, his groin just out of view. He ran his hands down his stomach and petted at the sparse pubic hair above his cock.

Harry licked his lips, following what Louis did, pushing the screen on his laptop back to give Louis a view of his clothed chest and tummy, head cut off by the camera angle.

“Trade?” Harry arranged the laptop on his lap to give his dick some room to breath.

“Uh huh. You do something for me and I’ll do something for you.” Louis let out a hiss following his proposition. Harry knew from the sound that Louis had wrapped his hand around the base of his cock. He started nodding in agreement before realizing that Louis couldn’t see his head.

“Tell me the trade.” Harry removed his shirt, thinking that it was only fair that if Louis were bare chested, he should be too.

“I want to see you spread yourself open, pretend you’re getting nice and loose for me to fuck...I want to see-”

The table side light flickered and went dark. A still image of Louis’ chest remained on the screen, a spinning rainbow wheel taunting Harry. A fleeting glance out the window revealed that the street lights were dark as well. He grabbed the throw pillow next to him and screamed, rutting his hips into the laptop in frustration. The only available light emitted from his laptop screen. _Mother_ _fucker_.

Louis called sometime later to share that he had indulged in a lovely wank. When Harry asked why he had seemed sad earlier, Louis admitted that he just missed Harry and was turned on. Harry found himself so frustrated that he snuggled into bed after willing his dick to go down. He kind of liked being kept on edge. He’d rather get off with Louis than do it alone. He drifted to sleep to the beat of a tree knocking against the side of the house and the steady rattling of the wind against the windowpane.

Harry woke with a start, not sure if the wind had woken him or the deep chill that had settled in the room. Drowsily, he scrubbed his face with both hands, yawning wide and stretching beneath the not-warm-enough comforter. Then he heard it, a loud yowling. He must have mistaken it for the wind when he first stirred. He stilled and tilted his head in the direction of the window. Again, another loud miserable yowl.

Harry puttered out of the room toward the front door, grabbing the blanket that was usually thrown across the back of the couch on his way. He struggled to get the door open, the wind engaging him in a game of tug of war.

“Huh, at least it’s stopped raining,” Harry muttered to himself, barely hearing his own voice due to the constant wind. His eyes darted from one side of the porch to the other, searching for where the sound was coming from. He stepped out of the door frame, hissing when his bare feet made contact with the cold wet wood of the porch.

“Fuckin’ hell.” Harry clutched the blanket around his shoulders tighter, gusts of wind catching the back of the blanket and causing it billow behind him like a makeshift cape. Upon closer inspection, Harry spotted the cause of his interrupted sleep. It was a miserable, wet, orange cat. As if on cue, the feline let out another pitiful yowl. Harry grimaced.

“Poor kitty…” Harry started to slowly approach the frightened creature, noting that its ears were back and flat to its head. “I won’t hurt ya. You’re soaked.”

The cat approached Harry cautiously, its eyes reflective in the night.

“I know it's cold and windy, but Lou said you  _ specifically _ can't come in,” Harry explained weakly, already shivering himself from the cold.

The cat meowed pathetically when a particularly strong gust of wind struck the house, the windowpanes rattling under the wind's strength. The cat cowered against the white-washed rails of the porch, releasing small whimpers of fear.

Harry shook his head and then leaned over the railing of the porch, searching for anyone that could possibly be witness to his crime. When he was sure the coast was clear, he let out a small relieved huff.

“Alright…but no one can know,  _ okay _ ?” Harry whispered to the sopping orange mess, while turning back to the open door of his and Louis’ home.

The cat followed closely behind Harry, making a run for it when he hit the threshold and darting into the house and out of sight.

“I’m serious, Orange Dream, tomorrow morning… you gotta go!” Harry called into the empty hallway.

_ Day Four  _ was the day Harry finally resorted to using the kiss he had stored away from before Louis left. Feeling extra lonely, a little sad, and majorly horny, he dug into his pocket and slapped the kiss to his mouth. He even snapped a photo of himself cashing in on his saved kiss and sent it to Louis. All he got back was a cheeky promise to Skype later to finish what they’d started the night before.

Harry groaned and palmed at his stiffening cock. When Louis got home he was going to pound the ever-living fuck out of him for being such a tease.

Harry started breakfast for himself, another day of only toast, not seeing a reason to break out pots and pans for just himself. While the toaster was running, he set about searching for Orange Dream, whom he hadn’t seen since the night before. He searched all the rooms, under tables, under the couch and even resorted to opening kitchen cabinets toward the end of his fruitless scouring.

Harry had been so distracted by his search that his toast burnt, and there wasn’t even butter to hide the charred taste. Swallowing down burnt-dry toast was made even more miserable when he went to pick up his messenger bag, only to find it damp and stinking of cat piss. What a  _ fucking _ day and it wasn’t even 5 am yet.

Harry’s sour mood carried over to work. He messed up an order, shipped something to the wrong address and then dealt with a dissatisfied customer. All the while, he stressed over the fact that he hadn’t found the goddamn cat that morning and God only knew what he would find when he got home.

His self pity was cut short when Niall firmly gripped his shoulder after he had spent an uncomfortable amount of time muttering to himself about “that goddamn cat.”

“Cat troubles?” Niall waggled his eyebrows at Harry, hand still clasped on his shoulder. Harry shrugged off his hand.

“I let the cat in last night because it was a miserable sad sack of shit outside during the storm and now I can’t find the fucker and Louis will be home tomorrow...” Harry just let it all out. He had had a bad enough day that his filter was at zero.

“You let that fucking thing in your house?!” Liam yelled from across the kitchen.

“I know, I fucked up!” Harry held both hands up in surrender. He knew he had fucked up and he also knew that if he didn’t get the cat out by tomorrow night, he’d have to admit all of this to Louis. Louis who had told him countless times to not let the damn thing into the house under any circumstances. Louis, the one whom he had promised that he wouldn’t do that. Louis, who was going to murder or divorce him for sure. At this point Harry was hoping for murder. Divorce was just too painful of a thought.

“I’ll get him out,” Niall offered easily. “Animals like me. We have a mutual respect for one another.”

“You will?” Harry turned to face Niall properly, hoping to the heavens above that Niall was serious.

"Yeah, I got shit to do after work so I’ll come around yours around 11:00.” Niall patted Harry on the back once more, giving him a cheeky wink.

“Holy shit! You’d literally be saving my marriage.”

“I highly doubt that Louis would divorce you over a cat,” Liam added from his corner.

“You don’t know how much Louis  _ hates _ that cat...it’s the shit comic book feuds are made of.”

Harry left the bakery early. Niall and Liam promised to clean up and handle the rest of tomorrow's prep work. On his ride home he dropped his messenger bag off at the dry cleaner in hopes of getting the strong odor of cat urine out it. The man behind the counter looked doubtful, which only darkened Harry’s mood further.   

Harry didn’t have bad days often, so his sour mood shocked even himself. The only glimmer of hope was that Louis had been teasing him all day about how everyone in his family would be gone around dinner time so they could Skype.

When Harry arrived home he slipped off his shoes and gently closed the door in hopes of catching Orange Dream unaware and in plain sight. Slowly, he tip-toed across the hardwood floors, avoiding any areas he knew creaked. He took the stairs at a snail's pace, bearing all of his weight on the balls on his feet. The cat seemingly had just disappeared.

“Orange Dream, you  _ son of a bitch _ !” Harry yelled, frustration vibrating throughout his entire body. He bound down the stairs recklessly, focused more on finding the cat now more than ever. In his fit of frustration he mis-stepped, his socked foot hitting the edge of a stair, sending him tumbling down the remaining four steps, skidding across the hardwood landing. He rolled from his stomach to his back, lying stock-still and staring at the ceiling above, not sure where he was hurt. Probably just his ego. He caught movement in his  peripheral, slowly turning his head to catch sight of Orange Dream’s tail rounding the corner to the kitchen. Too worn out to even care, Harry slammed his fist onto the ground growling under his breath.  _ Fuck _ .

Harry slowly removed himself from the ground, checking his elbows and knees for scrapes. Thankfully his inspection turned up nothing of significance. He crept into the living room. Still no Orange Dream but on the coffee table sat the Baggie of Doom, with just enough left for one Harry-sized bowl. With the way the day had been going, Harry quickly decided he should treat himself.

He tapped his phone to check the time, fifteen minutes until he had to be on Skype. He could make it work. He went to Louis’ home office and dug through the junk drawer to find the bowl Harry knew he kept there out of habit from his college days. The little pink bowl was well loved. It had a small chip near the carb that Louis had always had to remind Harry to hold his finger over as well. Harry shook the lighter he found in the drawer to make sure it had fluid before taking a seat at the desk. He mindlessly emptied the contents of the Baggie Of Doom onto the desk, picking apart the remaining bud, ensuring no stem was included in the little pile he was packing into the bowl.

Harry brought the small white lighter to the bowl at the same time he put his mouth to the end of the pipe. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply. The weed had a rich-woodsy taste to it, something sweet lingering on the tip of his tongue. The warm smoke filled his lungs. Almost instantly he felt like the worries of the day were melting from his skin. He held the smoke in his lungs for as long as they’d allow, then let it billow from his perfectly circled mouth.

The manufacturer had not been lying about the THC content. With one hit Harry’s fingertips already felt fuzzy. He repeated the motions several more times, each time trying to extend how long he could hold his breath. When he finally opened his eyes, a layer of smoke filled the air. He couldn’t wipe the lazy smile off his face. Things _ weren’t _ that bad.

He emptied the bowl into the trash can under the desk, shrugging to himself when some ash hit the floor. He’d get it later, maybe...if he remembered. Clicking the side of his phone once more to check the time, he headed back to the living room. The laptop sat on the couch, buried beneath the blanket he had used to wrap around himself to go outside. By the time the computer connected, Louis was calling. Fluffing his hair and checking to make sure he didn’t look too obviously stoned, Harry accepted.

Louis knew what Harry looked like when he had smoked, he knew that grin, he knew the hazy way Harry blinked. There was no doubting when Harry was faded so he wasn’t shocked when the first thing out of Louis’ mouth was

“Well, well, well, Mr. Smokes-A-Lot, have a good day?”

Louis was beautiful. Even through the computer screen Harry thought so. Why did Louis get to be so beautiful? It was unfair.

“You’re so pretty.”

Louis’ loud laugh filled the living room, the computer speakers unable to contain it.

“You’re fucked, Harry. Absolutely fucked. How much _ did _ you smoke?”

Harry shook his head, his thoughts more occupied with how beautiful Louis was than with the questions he was asking.  _ Think, Harry, think _ .

“One bowl, Lewis.”

“Well, just so you’re aware, one bowl of that stuff is equal to about three of the stuff you’re used too...so you smoked three bowls, babe.”

“Oooh…” Harry blinked slowly. “Wanna see my dick?”

“Right to the point? Not going to woo me?” Louis laughed.

“Looou, I’ve been half hard all day. I just wanna come,” Harry blurted out, filter at zero.

"Alright, alright.” Harry could hear Louis but he no longer could see his face. The computer was moving, there was a white wall, some beige carpeting and the muffled sounds of Louis carrying the laptop somewhere. When Louis was finally settled Harry could tell he was in his childhood bedroom. The navy blue walls and David Beckham poster above the bed were a dead give away.

“Hi, David,” Harry waved to the poster over Louis’ shoulder. “Get ready to see Louis’ cock.”

“I think David here has seen my cock more then you have, love. Sixteen was like The Jizz Reckoning.” Louis was situating the laptop on a stack of pillows, and Harry could see his face and his chest now.

“Mmm, I love when you say ‘cock’.” Harry let his hand wander down to his crotch, applying pressure to himself over his jeans.

“Cock-cock-cock--” Louis started removing his shirt, his head getting stuck for a second before it was fully off.

“Dirty talk and a strip tease, how’d I get so lucky?” Harry followed Louis’ lead, setting the laptop on the arm of the couch and quickly removing his shirt.

“I really don’t know. I am a catch.”

Harry eyed Louis’ chest hungrily. He looked so fucking good, compact curves, small tummy and a sprinkling of auburn chest hair that Harry just wanted to tug at with his teeth.

Harry started undoing his pants, his cock heavy between his legs already. He knew some of his eagerness was to blame on the weed, but most of it was just seeing Louis’ body.

“Wait, babe, let me see before you take your pants off.“ Louis’ hand was below camera level, and Harry could tell by the way his bicep was flexing that Louis was palming himself.

Harry kneeled so that the camera got the full view of his crotch, his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped, the thick, long outline of his cock apparent under his left hip. Harry’s cock gave a twitch under Louis’ gaze. Louis loved to see Harry hard in jeans. He once told Harry one of his favorite things was how Harry wore skin tight jeans and he could see his cockhead outline in them when he was turned on.

With Louis paying full attention to his groin, Harry slowly moved his jeans lower, his black boxer briefs tugging along with the denim.

“Fuck, baby…” Louis moaned, getting up on his knees as well.

Harry groaned loudly when Louis’ already bare cock came into view. It jutted away from his body, a soft auburn fuzz of hair accentuating how thick it was. Harry couldn’t look away. The head of Louis’ dick was already red, he imagined it was wet.

“No pants?” Harry asked, tugging at his jeans to free himself from the denim confines.

“Nope, just some sweats...was all ready for this.” Louis’ hand wrapped around the base of his cock, holding it at attention.

Harry’s eyes never strayed from Louis’ cock on the screen, not even while he fumbled with getting his jeans and pants to his ankles. Matching Louis’ position, he wrapped his hand firmly around his cock, pulling his foreskin back to let the precome roll down the head.

“God, you’re such a  _ good boy _ , Harry...playing with yourself like that.” Louis’ hand matched Harry’s, rolling his foreskin back to show Harry the pretty pink tip, like a dirty game of follow the leader.  

A small whine escaped the back of Harry’s throat. Louis was playing dirty, using Harry’s weakness for being praised.

“Gonna be good,  _ so so good. _ ”

“Turn ‘round baby, let me see your hole.”  Harry’s eyes followed the slide of Louis’ hand down his own cock, only giving himself small twists around the head.

“Wanna see you though…” Harry pleaded. He really didn’t want to take his eyes away from the show Louis was putting on. He had started to fist himself quickly to match Louis’ pace.

“Tsk.. _ Harry. _ ” Louis’ tone was firm, and oh, Harry liked where this was going. Harry slowly turned, peering over his shoulder and correcting his position over the over arm of the couch,arching his back so his bottom was pushed out. With one last look over his shoulder to make sure he was in view, Harry reached both hands around to his ass and held himself open. Harry felt absolutely filthy, totally on display for Louis. A growl came from the speakers behind him followed by a muffled sound of skin dragging on skin.

“ _ Fuck _ ...yeah…a  _ little _ wider, baby...scoot back, let me have a closer look.”

Harry followed directions immediately, scooting backwards on his knees. He firmly gripped his own cheeks and pulled them wider apart, cock hanging heavy between his legs, totally neglected and dripping onto the couch. Sparing another glance over his shoulder Harry watched as Louis licked his palm quickly and started tugging on his cock. The sound of Louis’ wet jerking off caused Harry to pull himself apart wider, letting dry fingers caress his tender exposed pink rim.

Harry rutted against the couch unabashed, letting Louis’ high airy whines fuel his arousal.

“Baby… suck on one of your fingers, wanna see you bury a finger up your ass.” Louis’ voice was broken, the words breathy.

Harry kept one hand firmly clasped on one of his cheeks, and turning his head to the side so Louis could see, he popped a finger from his free hand into his mouth. Languidly tonguing it so Louis could get a good look, he then hollowed his cheeks and sucked two fingers into his mouth, bobbing his head like he would on Louis’ cock.

Louis picked up speed, his hand now flying so quickly that Skype had a hard time keeping up with the motion. If the grunts and whines Louis was letting out were anything to go by, he felt good.

“Come on Harry, finger yourself, let me see.”

Harry shifted again, tucking his knees tight to his chest, almost rolling himself into a ball. The position was comfortable and kept him spread. He pulled his cheeks apart again and used his wet fingers to gently pet at his rim, knowing Louis loved to watch him touch himself like this.

His fingers weren’t wet enough to really finger his hole, just wet enough to broach the tight ring and open himself enough to be a pleasing display for Louis. Harry shuddered under his own touch. The slight sting of the tip of his finger sinking into his hole was enough to drive him to buck his dick against his own stomach. The friction was satisfying when accompanied by the ache of being spread. Louis’ groans were getting deeper and less spaced apart.

Harry tugged on his own rim with one finger in a downward motion, slipping his second wet finger overtop. He canted his hips, precome dribbling onto his thighs and stomach from the balled up position he was in.  _ Thank fuck for yoga. _

“Yes...hold yourself _ open. _ ..let me see,” Louis hissed.

“Uh...uh...Lou-”

“Meoooow.”

Harry stilled, fingers still holding himself open but his body going tight. He turned his head and there sat fucking Orange Dream looking up at him with narrowed yellow eyes. He shook his head and gave the cat a fierce look.

“Meoooow.”

Harry shook his head harder, willing the cat to shut the fuck up.

The chorus of skin slapping skin and heady grunts stopped, and Harry looked over his shoulder to find that Louis had stilled as well.

“Uh, babe?” Louis bent forward, his cock being replaced by his face close to the camera. “Did you meow?”

Harry dropped his hand from his hole, letting his ass cheeks close.

“Haha… yeah? Ya.. _.ya know _ , just... trying something out?” Harry smiled over his shoulder, bringing his hand up to his mouth and licking the back of it in a cat-like fashion.  _ He was too  _ _ stoned for this… _

“Shit…” Louis muttered, going back to his original position, hand grasping his cock once again. “I like that pet-play shit... _ fuck, Harry _ ...you naughty kitten.”

Harry had never been more happy that his husband was a kinky fucking bastard than he was in that moment. His erection was totally gone but the sound of Louis rapidly jerking himself off fueled Harry onward. He put his hands back in place, locking eyes with the cat, face set in a scowl. He mouthed to Orange-Dream, “You’re going to the pound, mother fucker.”

Harry huffed and turned his head over his shoulder again, bringing the back of his hand to his mouth and giving it a long lick before letting out a slow drawn out “Meoooww,  _ naughty Harry _ …”

“Harry...oh fucking hell, Harry,” Louis grunted, his breathing going hard. Harry could hear Louis taking on a frantic pace before a loud satisfied yelp tumbled from his mouth.

Harry caught a glimpse of Louis’ cock spurting a ribbon of opaque fluid, his hand stilling but still breathing hard enough that it was audible through the speakers.

Harry looked down between his legs at his soft cock and pouted. He shifted position so that he was sitting down on his butt. All the movement must have startled the cat because he was now gone.

Louis’ face came back into view, a cocky grin plastered on it.

“So...is that a thing?” he asked. “Because I can definitely get on board.”

Harry just shrugged. _ Maybe _ it was a thing...he’d have to try it again when a cock-blocking cat wasn’t staring at him.

Harry and Louis ended up talking about how Louis’ trip was going. Louis had a lot to share about his family and had pictures of him and some his friends out on the town to share. Harry didn’t have much to update Louis on, having spent most of his time at the bakery. They ended up making some dinner plans for the following day after Louis got back into town.

When the Skype session ended, Harry felt guilty. It was the first time he had ever kept a secret from Louis, and he felt the burden of it weighing down on him. He wasn’t one to lie and he especially wasn’t one to lie to Louis. The guilt gnawed away at him, making him irritable and nervous.

Harry was already in his pajamas by the time Niall arrived and texted him to meet him outside. Niall was leaning against his car all dressed in black, smudges of what seemed to be eyeliner under his eyes.

“This feels like the beginning of a low budget porno,” Harry offered in greeting.

“What kind of porno are you watching, man?” Niall countered.

As Harry started to answer Niall cut him off. “Don’t wanna know what kind of wacky shit you and Lou get up to.”

“No, but seriously, what the fuck is this?” Harry waved a hand at Niall's get up.

“I needed an outfit to get in the mood for stealth. Your home has been invaded Harry...we’re on a mission.” Niall opened his phone and tapped a couple times.

Harry looked up and down the block, hoping that no neighbors were taking notice of the suspiciously dressed grown man in his driveway.

“This is our target.” Niall waved his phone in Harry's face. A picture of an orange cat filled the screen. It wasn’t even Orange Dream, just a random internet cat.

“Well...by all means, please do come in, Agent Bond.” Harry started back towards the house, the door still open in hopes that the cat would just run out on its own accord.

Harry waited by the door as Niall opened his car to retrieve an oversized duffle bag that appeared empty.

“Do I even want to know?” Harry asked.

“Top secret.” The duffle bag Niall slung over his shoulder hit Harry in the face as he brushed past through the door.

Niall set the duffle bag down on the couch and unzipped it dramatically. Just as Harry expected, it was empty. Niall unzipped a smaller compartment in the bag and slowly withdrew his hand. In it was one small bag of store-brand cat nip.

Harry let out an inhuman squeal and flung his arms around Niall's neck, smacking a wet loud kiss to his cheek. “Agent Bond, you’re a fucking genius.”

“Told ya, I am  _ The Beast Master _ .”

Niall set to work right away, tearing open the bag and creating small trails of cat nip down the hallway to the front door, next to the kitchen, and cascading down the stairs. He also set little piles of the substance in the living room, kitchen and downstairs bathroom. Once he laid all the traps, he took a seat on the stairs. Patting the space next to him, he looked at Harry expectantly.

“Now what?” Harry asked.

“We wait him out.” Niall nodded, opening his phone to kill time. Harry followed suit, scrolling various social media sites. By the time fifteen minutes passed and nothing came to fruition, Harry felt his frustration growing again.

“I’m gonna have to tell Lou.”

Niall didn’t take his eyes off the Facebook app on his phone, just offering a nod.

“I can’t believe I’ve basically lied to him...” Harry trailed off, his stomach churning.

“It’s not a big deal. It’s just like a small thing,” Niall offered, clicking his phone once before pocketing it.

“Yeah, but small things lead to big things and small miscommunications...lead to bigger ones, so  _ um _ . _..like, um _ ...yeah, I’m scared?” Harry fidgeted nervously, leg jiggling.

“If you’re worried about it, then I kinda feel like you’re alright, ya know? It’s kind of like if you’re acknowledging you’ve done something wrong and want to fix it then it’s not a huge deal.” Harry felt Niall searching his face as he spoke.

Harry bit his bottom lip, playing with his hands in his lap. Niall’s reassurance did nothing to calm his nerves.

They sat in silence for what felt like forever, neither one wanting to move and alert Orange Dream of the impending ambush.

Harry was just about to thank Niall for his efforts and call it a night when Niall’s hand grasped his knee.

Pressing a finger to Harry's mouth and whispering “shhh,” Niall pointed to the living room. On the floor by the couch was Orange Dream, rolling in a pile of catnip, belly up and tiny back legs kicking.

Niall slowly got up, walking lightly to the prone cat. The cat looked up, stilling but not moving from its exposed stance. Niall bent down and gently lifted an overweight, lethargic Orange Dream from the ground.

Niall looked at Harry, eyes wide in disbelief.

“Got ’im” Niall whispered.

Harry gently got up, not wanting to create any loud sounds. Niall followed behind closely, an alert but tame Orange Dream close to his chest. Harry softly opened the door, turning to Niall and giving him a shrug.

“What do I do?” Niall asked, just as bewildered as Harry.

“I guess,  _ like _ , put him outside?” Harry shrugged, not really sure.

Niall looked down at a sleepy Orange Dream, then looked out the door, then looked at Harry. He repeated the action several times before pouting.

“Nah, Imma keep him.”

"You’re gonna take that cat?” Harry’s brows furrowed together, and he pointed to the cat in Niall's arms. “You want to keep _ that fucking _ cat?”

“Yeah, sure, why the hell not? He’s kind of an asshole, but all cats are.” Niall held the cat closer, a finger stroking the soft white fur of its belly.

“All the fucking power to ya...he’s a cock-blocking fuckface in my opinion.”

“Awww…he doesn’t have a fuck face, he’s _ cute. _ ”

Harry couldn’t even bring himself to look at the cat.

"Yeah, right, whatever. Thank you so much for tonight, Niall. Now take your cat and go.”

“Night, man. Thanks for the cat!”

Harry stood at the door watching Niall get to his car. Niall got into the driver seat with the cat still on his lap. Harry hoped to God the cat would stay stoned for the whole car ride and wouldn’t scratch Niall’s balls to shreds. Niall gave Harry the finger before backing out of the driveway, which Harry returned gleefully. He finally felt like he was friends with Lou’s friends, like he belonged.

_ Day five _ ,  _ Louis comes home, Louis comes home, Louis comes home  _ played on repeat in Harry’s mind all day. He returned Niall's duffle bag first thing in the morning. He asked how the cat was only to learn that Niall had basically found his pet soulmate. “Orange Dream” was no more. In his place was “Garfield,” which Niall was proud of coming up with. Niall and Liam knew Harry was going to leave early so Harry worked double time, only stopping to text Louis that he was looking forward to him coming home about 100 times.

Harry's excitement to see Louis made the short work day seem to drag on. When his alarm finally sounded alerting him it was noon, he was more than pleased to head home. Louis had said he would be home by one and had to stop texting because he was driving.

Harry broke several traffic rules on the way home to get there with ample time to start cleaning up the catnip disaster that was leftover from the night before.

As he pulled into the driveway, his heart fell out of his ass. Sitting right there was Louis’ car.   _ Fuck, fuck, fuck _ . There was catnip fucking everywhere, there were pots in the sink and Harry hadn’t prepared how he was going to admit to his crimes yet. All the feelings of guilt replaced the excitement of Louis’ return.

Harry parked his car next to Louis’  and took a deep breath before getting out. He leaned against his car door on shaky legs. In their entire relationship Harry had never misled Louis. They always had open-honest communication. Both being products of divorce had taught them the importance of being able to talk to one another about anything. Timidly Harry made his way up the front porch. He ran his hands through his hair, giving the ends a sharp tug.  _ Snap out of it, just talk to him _ .

Harry opened the door only to find Louis bent over at the end of the stairway, a black plastic bag hanging from his fingertips. Quickly Louis turned around, thumbing over his shoulder.

“What’s this?”

“Um… Um…” Harry paled.

Louis turned his back on Harry, bent over again and picked up a pinch of catnip, giving it a sniff.

"Is this like cooking spices?” He went to put it on his tongue, but Harry lunged forward to knock his hand away from his face.

“No! Don’t do that! It’s catnip!”

“Oh...” Louis looked at Harry confused, looking at the stairway littered in the substance.

“You’re like...really into it? Really into taking the role play that far?” Louis stuttered.

“What the fuck?” Harry was confused. What the fuck was Louis on about?

“Ya know...the  _ cat thing _ ? You don’t have to be ashamed.” Louis’ tone was warm, the tone he always used when Harry was embarrassed or nervous about anything.

“Wait--what?” Harry’s muddy brain still hadn’t caught up. He had just been busted letting the cat, the cat Louis specifically said to not let in, in the house.

“Harry...you know, the meowing?  _ The _ …” Louis made a fist and brought it up to his face, licking the back of his hand, using the motion to remind Harry of their Skype session the other day.

Harry buried his face in both his hands. Fighting back hot tears, he sat on the stairs, shoulders already shaking.

“Louis, I let Orange Dream in the  _ house _ , it was raining and windy and cold and he was pathetic. I know you said not to let him in but I did... and Niall took him home and he set up these  _ elaborate _ Scooby Doo and the Gang traps...and I _ ’m a lying liar who lies, _ ” Harry sobbed. The tears were now flowing freely.

Louis quickly took a seat next to Harry, putting the black plastic bag in his lap and wrapping both arms around Harry’s shoulders.

“I don’t blame you for being angry with me. I did something you told me countless times not to do. I know little things lead to big things...I fucked up so bad, Lou...I-” Harry sniffed, another round of sobs wracking his body.

Louis nosed at the top of Harry’s head, bringing him closer.

“Harry... Harry,” Louis whispered. “Look at me.”

Harry slowly turned to face Louis, eyes wet with tears, nose and cheeks splotchy.

"This is... this is not even a _ thing _ , babe.”

“I misled you, Lou.” Harry sniffed.

“You let an asshole cat in the house because there was bad weather...this hardly counts as misleading me.”

Louis rubbed soft circles on Harry’s back, giving his still-shaking shoulder a kiss.

“It just feels so bad, Lou.”

“Well, if it helps, you’re totally forgiven. But, I gotta ask...like...the meowing?”

“The cat started meowing so...I like…started meowing too?” Harry buried his face into his hands again, this time his cheeks pink with embarrassment.

“Then you may not want what's in that bag.” Louis chuckled and ruffled the plastic bag in Harry’s lap.

Harry looked at Louis, puzzled, then looked at the bag before slowly opening it.

“Louis!” Harry closed the bag quickly, wiping at his teary eyes.

Louis laughed, giving Harry’s shoulder another kiss before slapping at Harry’s knee.

“I thought it was a thing!”

Harry opened the bag again, reaching in and taking out a set of cat ears that matched his hair, setting them on his head. He smiled at Louis.

"I mean...I’m not like  _ against _ it.”

Harry dipped his hand in the black bag again, this time pulling out a plastic blue human-sized collar with a tiny little bow attached.

“Yeah?” Louis muttered leaning into Harry to kiss at his neck, taking the collar from his hands.

As Louis’ unfastened the collar, Harry dug into the bag again. This time he pulled out a small purple plug attached to a little brown tail that matched the ears.

“Louis William...you naughty, naughty man.” Harry dangled the plug in front of Louis’ face.

Louis leaned into Harry’s space, working the collar around his neck before sucking at the skin there.

“What can I say,  _ kitten _ ?” Louis held his hands up in mock surrender. Eyes lingering at the collar around Harry's neck, he licked his lips.

Harry suddenly felt very hot, not to mention he hadn’t come in five days and after two failed jerk-off attempts he could come in his pants if the wind blew the right way. He handed the plug to Louis by the tail.

“Meow,  _ Harry’s gonna be naughty _ ,” he whispered in Louis’ ear.

“Fuck...” Louis hissed. “Up the stairs,  _ up, up, up. _ ”

Both Harry and Louis bounded up the stairs, the sound of the bell attached to the little collar echoing in the hallway. 


End file.
